Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
