soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
