Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
