Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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