I just cut my nipple shaving
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
either way he was missing a nipple.
No subtext here. People are naked.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
