Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
