I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
