Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
