pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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