i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
