I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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