I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
