marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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