South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
