He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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