My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
