You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
