The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
