You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
