it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
