We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
