i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
