i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
