Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
