they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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