you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
