420 ftw
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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