Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
