Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
