I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
