I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
