I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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