How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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