Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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