You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
