Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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