they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
