Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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