I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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