I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
