Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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