PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
