Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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