Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I forget how to act sober
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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