So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i now understand why vodka
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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