Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
