I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
