question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
