Joe is yelling at the trees again.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
