i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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