id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize