I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
