Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
